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Gothic 3
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Look before you leap, otherwise you'll end up in the bottomless pit that is Gothic III.

I wanted to like this game. I really, really wanted to like this game. I had been anticipating it ever since I heard about it some time ago, and Piranha Bytes had all the ingredients needed to create a really great tasting role playing game at their fingertips; a thick storyline involving orcish take-over and human enslavement, sandbox style open ended world exploration, gameplay that is impacted by choices made throughout the game to help evolve the story, voice-over acting, class-free hero development as well as non-linear objectives.

Here we see the band preparing to play it's concussion/acoustic version of the hit "Get Orc-dafied". It was only popular in Europe.

The only problem is no matter how good the ingredients are, if the person (in this case development team) cooking this delicious treat screws up, you're going to get one gross tasting product. Vualá! Gothic III is a nasty flavored pastry that is masquerading as a delightful morsel.

Ever been beat down by someone named ManMeat fisting two swords? You're about to.

At first glance those who do their research online will find screenshots of a dynamic looking world filled with beautifully detailed architecture and realistic looking monsters. The possibilities of this game looking outstanding are available, the only problem is you have to have a gaming computer created by NASA and backed up by Alienware. Since most of us don't have a $4,000 gaming rig, so 95% of the gaming community is forced to set the detail levels to "redicously low" (closely resembling a Playstation 1 game circa 1995). When the graphics detail is set this low, the landscapes are barren and character models are beyond bland. In
summary, visuals in this game pretty much suck. Besides the graphics issue, bugs plague this game with flickering screens and models simply disappearing during real-time rendering.

Whenever I noticed something like this about to go down, I just sat back and watched the show. I never forgot to take out the wounded victor.

One rumor I heard while waiting for the game to be released was that the combat audio sounded like "man porn," as absurd as this sounded it was dead on right. When you think of a game with voice-over acting, you immediately think of talented voice actors using their far reaching experience to provide you with lifelike conversation. What you actually get is roughly 3 lines of voice audio per NPC that is extremely repetitive. The voice acting is unconvincing, stiff and leaves you feeling that you might have been better off with text boxes. Yes, it's that bad.

I heard somewhere that Orcs hate fire. I exploited this to its full potential.

Even if it wasn't for the horrible voice-acting and awful graphics, everything else about the game leaves you frustrated. In this day and age you shouldn't be forced to sit through loading times that makes you wonder if your computer has frozen. The interface is a whole other monster entirely, it's unresponsive and confusing. There's very little information displayed about the things you want to know about, and entirely too much information about things that you could care less about. I couldn't even find my mission log for the first two hours of my game, and even after I did I had a hard time finding out what the hell I was supposed to do next.

So nice to see that Bigfoot and his clan were able to make it to the tea party. The Loch Ness Monster guest of honor was held up due to traffic, however.

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