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Falls desperately short on almost every objective when it comes to creating a modern tank simulator. Next!

An old Russian T-72 rolls lazily on its tracks down a gravel road towards some unnamed Bosnian city like a tired warrior after a day of combat in the Arena. The commander, speaking some offbeat version of ‘English meets Russian,’ announces the presence of an enemy APC. The early 1970’s tank stops in place with its Soviet Star shining brightly, the turret hydraulics whine loudly as it slowly turns its massive gun in the direction of the enemy.

Clicks and beeps sound as the rangefinder is engaged, the ‘clank’ from inside the iron beast tells me that the shell is loaded. Carefully the gun is aimed…then KER-BOOM! An earth shaking explosion rockets the 125mm projectile down range with the kind of force and velocity that would make Poseidon himself quake in fear. The ordinance explodes with an incredible display of fire, smoke and destruction. Only it happens 150 meters beyond its intended target. The sequence begins again only this time the shell explodes 120 meters away. Hilarity and ridiculousness ensue.



Minutes pass as the explosions slowly make their way, one after another, towards a target that does not move or in any way try to avoid the incoming rounds. The APC sits and allows the menacing hulk in the distance to zero in on it through a painstaking process of trial and error. The commander’s pod rotates constantly in a dizzying display of absurd nonsense on the old Soviet warrior. After what seems like an eternity, the T-72 finally engages and destroys the APC.

Then it awkwardly begins firing its machine gun at insane distances towards enemy troops who repeat a maneuver of: Stand up, go prone, roll, stand up and repeat. Accomplishing more in the department of intimidation than annihilation, it depletes its 400 drum of .50cal bullets with only 2 enemies dead. The tank turns to disengage the enemy and instead rolls stupidly end over end off a cliff landing with a dull ‘clunk’ at the bottom of a ravine. Before it bursts into very poorly rendered flames the Russian-ish commander announces, “We’ve been hit!”